Shanghai: River Tour of The Bund

When we first arrived in Korea, we were driven by our recruiters to our new apartment. The town we live in is about a 2 hour ride from the airport, and since we had already been traveling for about a full day, the car ride felt like an eternity. When we arrived in Guri, I was caught a little off guard by how different everything looked. Sure, there was a familiar 7-11, but everything else felt new. Most of all, I couldn't believe how much neon there was for such a small city (Guri's population is about 300,000, but because it is so densely populated, it feels like more).

After living in Korea and quickly growing accustomed to the neon office tells and apartment high rises, Shanghai wasn't much of a shock. However, Sami and I decided that Shanghai has much more personality than Seoul when it comes to architecture. Sure, Seoul has the wonderfully restored palaces downtown, and Seoul Tower is a definite sight to see, but because Seoul (and Korea in general) has been so ravaged by war, remnants of its past are not easily caught at first glimpse.

Shanghai on the other hand, has a more diverse, if shady history. After the Treaty of Nanjing, the ensuing foreign presence left a permanent mark on the city's skyline, most notably in the most famous tourist area of the city known as The Bund.

After we had finished our day at the World Expo, we hopped on a tour boat of The Bund at night. Our travel group included a middle aged Australian couple and our guide, Maggie (somehow I doubt that is her real name). The first thing I did on the boat was buy two warm Carona's (Sami was dumbfounded I would choose a Mexican beer, but do I really need a reason?). The beer did nothing but make me have to pee in the worst way.

On the top of the boat, we met a deaf artist who carved some traditional Chinese stamps for us. They are wooden and mine has a Tiger (2010 is the year of the Tiger) on top and my name in English and Chinese carved on the bottom. Sami has a dog because she was born in 1982, which was a dog year. The way he worked with a little chisel was quite impressive, especially when he carved a miniscule "Shanghai 5-6-10" on the side of the wooden stamp. I use the stamp to mark my students' papers and they get a big kick out of it.

After the tour we took a tour of East Nianxing Rd. which just so happened to be the same street as our hotel. We jumped in a train shaped shuttle and rode around while Maggie told us all about how much she works (no days off) and a man in the car in front of us turned and stared at our white faces.

When the ride was up, we turned and walked toward our hotel, our eyes mesmerized by the neon scene all around us.

Shanghai: 2010 World Expo

We spent one full day at the World Expo, and really, an entire month wouldn't have been enough. The place is massive. I've read that the Chinese government forced 55,000 people out of their homes to mow down enough space to accommodate over 230 pavilions (one for each country participating, not including countries with joint pavilions) and dozens of additional tech pavilions on both sides of the Huangpu River. We had enough time to visit 10.

It was a 30 minute subway ride to a security checkpoint where we transferred to the special Expo line (yes, they built a brand new subway line for the sole purpose of transporting visitors to and from the Expo). Upon arrival, we agreed that our first line of business would be to snag something to eat. I was hoping for something exotic, Sami made a v-line for KFC. I was quite angry with this, and threw a little mini fit. One bite of the chicken sandwich and I forgot why I was so upset (although I still had to act the part, I can't just let her win that easily). It is hard to be mad when tasting mayonnaise. I love it (Sami and Koreans hate it, which frustrates me to no end) and hadn't had it in months. When I visit home I am going to walk around with a jar of it and constantly rub it on my gums.

There was no agenda for our day at the Expo. All we knew was that we wanted to see the U.S. pavilion and the China pavilion. Normally, Sami likes to plan out every detail of an excursion, so I wasn't quite sure how she would hold up.

At Europe Square, the first pavilion the first building that caught my eye was the Spain Pavilion. It looked like it was made out of wicker baskets. I wanted to go in there, thinking that there would be a Spanish ham tasting room. There probably wasn't, and Sami did not want to go there anyway. We made our way to the Switzerland Pavilion instead.

Spain Pavilion

There was an enormous queue at the Switzerland Pavilion, but there were relatively few people in line. We serpantined through the empty line back and forth passing by the same people on the other side of the rope each time. When we did get to the front of the line, everyone made a mad dash up a paved incline which featured mounted binoculars that showed panoramic views of the Swiss Alps. Apparently, Chinese are like Koreans in that they don't give a shit about waiting for their turn. One little kid would sprint in front of me and shove his face in the binoculars every time I went to bend down. Bastard.

There was a nice little video and display room inside that showed off the best of Switzerland, but we buzzed through that and went straight for the chairlift. The chairlift was Sami's favorite part of the day and it was a great opportunity to take a look at the rest of the Expo from above. From the top, we could see many of the more popular (architecturally speaking) pavilions such as the U.K. Pavilion. There were gardens and greenery all along the inside wall as well as the roof of the Switzerland Pavilion. These vertical gardens were a definite trend at the Expo, and I would bet that they will be quite common in urban areas here in the near future.

Switzerland Pavilion (top) and the inside of the chairlift (bottom)

After Switzerland, we headed next door to the France Pavilion. I would love to go to France someday and wander around and get fat and drunk. It looks like my kind of place where the people can be lazy and take their pleasures seriously. The countryside also looks beautiful, especially the Pyrenees. Sami, however, has no desire to go there. She is a history buff and always mutters something about wars and rudeness when I bring up France. Anyway, I had to settle for the pavilion.

The main courtyard housed some extraordinary vertical gardens and a large fountain. I felt that the France Pavilion did a nice job of showing off the best of what the country had to offer. Inside there was an area with frantic French chefs (actually, most of them were Chinese, but you get the idea) scurrying and whisking about in a room behind a windowed wall. There were also Cartier and Louis Vuitton showrooms and electronic walls showing the sun rise over various neighborhoods in Paris. There was also a wall of fine art featuring the works of famous artists like Van Gogh and Cezanne. When we left the pavilion we stopped at the attached French bakery and bought two croissants from a Chinese guy.

 The France Pavilion

 The electronic wall showing Paris

 Art by Cezanne

After France, we swung by The Netherlands Pavilion, which had kind of a funhouse feel in addition to a pretty sweet solar powered car. 

 The Pavilion behind Sami is the U.K. Pavilion

Next we went into the Luxembourg Pavilion, which had yet another rooftop garden. It also had about a dozen or 15 individual six-feet tall by two-and-a-half-feet wide screens where when you would walk up to them a digital person would talk to you about their everyday life in Luxembourg.

Sami and I went into the Ireland Pavilion to pay homage to the majority of our ancestry. The inside celebrated the 3,000 year history of the Emerald Isle and showed off famous places like the Jameson Distillery, and famous people like James Joyce and Bono. My favorite exhibit showed how the typical Irish home has evolved over the years.

The Turkey Pavilion (located right next to the Ireland Pavilion and proving that geography played little part in the placement of pavilions) was chaotic on the inside, not due to the number of visitors, but because it was completely dark except for neon lights that would beam down on famous artifacts. It was kind of like a disco museum, only with loud, chanting music. However, at the top floor of the pavilion there was a very cool 360 degree panoramic view of Istanbul that would change to different parts of the city. 

After lunch at a Bulgarian restaurant where I had musaka, which was good, and Sami had a grilled chicken breast which was not, we checked out the Denmark Pavilion. This pavilion has gotten a lot of attention because they shipped their most famous statue "The Little Mermaid," inspired by the Hans Christian Anderson story, to Shanghai. The pavilion also had bikes that you could rent and ride to the top. We walked and laughed at the comparisons to Denmark and China painted on the walls. Denmark has one city with a population over 1 million. China has over 160.

As it was getting later and we weren't quite sure how long the lines were going to be, we rushed to the U.S. Pavilion. To say we were disappointed with the U.S. Pavilion would be putting it mildly. Much has been written about the abortion that is the U.S. Pavilion- how the lazy media never questioned the government's claim that no public funding could be used for a World Expo, how the engineering bid was given to a couple with family ties to some government decision maker and how Hillary Clinton had to scramble at the last minute and garner funding from large private corporations after the project went (surprise) over budget. If you are the least bit interested in learning about this, I strongly suggest you read this article.  As for me, I will give you our initial thoughts, strictly from a tourists perspective.

First off, the architecture was uninspiring and looked like something that wouldn't be out of place in a Beaverton strip mall. The food that they served in the attached restaurant was your typical fast, cheap and greasy. Once herded inside, we stood and stared at a large screen. We were greeted by a group of college bi-lingual ambassadors. Even though these were obviously very intelligent students (after all, they speak Chinese!), we were not impressed. No other pavilion required kids making bad jokes that did not break the cultural barrier. The first movie we saw, while standing, was nothing more than Americans, both famous and not, attempting to say hello in Chinese. Cute. There might as well have been a large sign that read, "Look at us Americans! We are dumbbutts, but at least we can laugh at ourselves!" Ok, maybe that sounds pretty harsh. I guess you had to be there. Next, we were herded to a second movie theater, where we were greeted by taped welcomes from Hillary and President Obama. The short 7-10 minute movie had kids talking about how great cities are going to be ("they are going to have cloud pillows, where you can lay on a cloud!"). The idea was that we should be inspired by kids who have no limits to their imaginations. I get that, but other countries are out there actually promoting their country. We have not tooted our horn at all. Not even a little toot. Lastly, we were taken to a third and final movie theater which screened another 7-10 minute short. This was a music video (no speaking) about a girl who wants to grow a garden in the middle of a trashy part of a city. She overcomes adversity and eventually gets her multi-cultural neighbors to pitch in. After the movie we were ushered to a room which served the purpose of thanking the corporate sponsors who ponied up the cash to pay for the $65 million movie theater (the three films alone cost $25 million. This is more to produce than this year's Oscar winner The Hurt Locker).

I hadn't read anything about the U.S. Pavilion before experiencing it, but the more I thought about it, the more I was disappointed. After researching, it is easy to see why it failed. First, it reminded me of a college group assignment where one group just doesn't understand the grading criteria or objective. While other countries were expressing their vision of the future of urban areas and showing off the best of their country- maybe to boost tourism, we were saying to the Chinese "Look, we are here! We like you! We are your friend!" We were more interested in getting our sponsors' logos on the wall.

The other bummer is that I doubt that anyone back at home even cares that the Expo is going on, or is worried about how we present ourselves. Other countries get their citizens involved and have them vote on architectural designs. We could care less.

In stark contrast to the U.S. Pavilion was the China Pavilion. The China Pavillion is massive and will remain a permanent fixture on the site while most others will be torn down. We were completely overwhelmed by the size and scope of the Chinese Pavilion, and felt that we could have spent a day there and still not seen everything. There was a different room for each Chinese province, and multiple floors that we just couldn't get around to. I heard that there was a giant electronic mural of an ancient Chinese painting where the people and animals in the picture actually moved around like they were alive. Just one of the many things we missed.

The last two pavilions we hurried to were North and South Korea. We thought that North Korea was going to be bizarre, but it turned out to be only slightly creepy- way less than we though. Despite the outlandish props, you could tell that there wasn't too much money pumped into it. Why would the want to take any away from the military?

We honestly didn't get to see too much of the South Korea Pavilion because there was a performance going on. The outside of the pavilion was pretty cool. The theme was hangeul which is the form of writing that King Sejong created to help improve illiteracy in Korea. It is used today and is a very simple form of writing when compared to Chinese and Japanese.

By this point, our legs and feet were aching. We headed back toward the Exp subway to catch a few minutes of rest before our night river tour of The Bund. We realized that we had just experienced something that we would remember for the rest of our lives. We felt fortunate to see such a magnificent event, if only a sliver.

Tor and Becky

We landed in Korea nine months ago with the assurance that our friends Tor and Becky would be following only a few weeks later. This knowledge served as our safety net. Every time Sami and I would get frustrated with each other or our situation, we would tell ourselves "Tor and Becky will be here soon." There were many times where we felt isolated and misunderstood, locked in an unfamiliar culture. "Tor and Becky will be here soon," we'd rationalize.

The weeks turned to months and our first semester of teaching eventually passed. Tor and Becky were still waiting for their placements back in Oregon. Meanwhile, we had met a few new friends, learned a few more phrases, visited historical landmarks, cities, festivals and fortresses all over Korea, and gradually became comfortable in our new home.

We had heard rumors that the Korean government had become more selective with who they decide to hire as English teachers- educators back in the U.S. who had lost their jobs due to budget cuts were increasingly looking for work overseas. Likewise, with fewer teaching jobs at home, an influx recent grad students opted to head our way with their newly minted teaching degrees.

The fact that Tor and Becky were married and looking at coming after the semester had started only hurt their chances. Not only did they need to be placed at a time when most schools' ESL needs were currently being met- they had to find two with openings that were also in close proximity to each other.

We first thought that Tor and Becky would be placed in a small town to the east of us. This would have been in a rural area that would present a new set of challenges (small town means few English speakers and even more who have never even seen a foreigner), but would likely mean a rural living stipend. When that didn't work out, they dropped their recruitment agency and went looking for work in a different province. Their next plan was to live and work in Busan- the second biggest city in Korea, located on the coast in the southeast part of the country. Busan is a 4-5 hour bus ride from where Sami and I live in Guri, just east of Seoul. When that fell through, we began to lose hope.

A month into the new school year, we received word that they had been placed in Hwaseong- south of Seoul and about an hour and a half subway ride from Guri. After months and months of waiting and worrying, they were instructed to buy plane tickets (which would be reimbursed) and be in Korea in two weeks. The recruiter then called back and said better make it 10 days.

They flew the 12 hours to Korea (probably more like 15 with the transfer in Vancouver), were driven two hours from the airport to dirty temporary housing, taken out to dinner at 10:00 p.m. at night, and told to be at school to teach the very next morning. They couldn't have been happier.

During their first weekend here, they came to stay at our (relatively) luxurious apartment in Guri. We swapped stories of our first we confused days, took them to our favorite mandu (Korean dumpling) restaurant, and introduced them to a few of our friends in town. More than anything, I think that they were happy to get a hot shower- something that lacked in their temporary living quarters.

As soon as they settled into their new place, they invited us out to Hwaseong. They wanted to show us around their new neighborhood and attend the Lotus Latern Festival in in celebration of Buddha's birthday the next day.

Sami and I had actually visited Hwaseong Fortress, a World Heritage site, back in the fall and spent a whole day walking its length. The part of town Becky and Tor live in, however, is a whole lot different. We had to look down and skillfully navigate through scattered garbage and piles of puke. Much of the trash was discarded promotional fliers for personal escorts and sex clubs. The people might not be quite as accommodating to foreigners- Tor relayed a story about how he was kicked out of a convenience store for speaking in English with an American he just met.

Despite the relatively seedy first impression, Tor and Becky's neighborhood has a campy feel, and is attempting to cater to the younger crowd. There is a batting cage and a basketball hoop nearby, along with a court that is used for some sport that to me seems like a cross between soccer and volleyball, only the net is low like in tennis. I really should learn what this sport is because I think that there is a similar court near where we live in Guri. There is no shortage of excitement or things to do there. Sometimes, the fun even comes to you, like the time a drunken Korean man wearing one shoe arrived at their doorstep at six in the morning pleading to be let inside "Please! So sleepy! So sleepy!" he begged.

We spent the first hour or so at Tor and Becky's apartment swapping recent stories, drinking beer and soju mixed with juice. Later, they took us to Mr. Kim's, their favorite Korean BBQ place. They ate at Mr. Kim's their first night in Korea, and the owner and namesake became a fast friend with his affectionately uncouth use of the English language. The first and only thing he had ever said was "sex machine!" while slapping his wife on the behind.

On the way to the restaurant Tor and I stopped by the batting cages. The cost was 500 wan (about 40 cents) for 15 pitches. Despite my increasing buzz, I was able to make solid contact with the last couple of pitches. Not bad, for not swinging a bat in about 2 years. Although, I was only in the 80 km/hr cage.

We had several celebratory shots of soju with our delicious BBQ. When we thought we had had enough, Mr. Kim showed up, sat down with us and poured more. By this time my ears were feeling quite fuzzy. On the way back we stopped at the batting cages again. Apparently, in my now drunken state, I felt the need to move up to the 120 km/hr cage. I couldn't even see the first three pitches, so I decide to just swing when I heard the sound of the Juggz machine snapping the ball forward. This actually worked a few times, but the dizzying speed of the ball and the ferocity of my swing only intensified the affect the cheap alcohol already had on me.

 When they take a shot in Korea, they turn their heads and say "one shot!"

After dinner we went back to Tor and Becky's for some more beer, soju, and one of our favorite games: Apples to Apples. If you are not familiar, I am sorry but I refuse to explain (computer froze and I lost a huge chunk of what I had written GGGRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!). Let's just save time and say that as we played (and the more I drank), I became more and more animated and intense. I had so much pent up energy and aggression that there really was only one acceptable outlet- the nore bang.

A nore bang (pronounced kind of like 'no-ray bong') is a private karaoke room that you can rent so only your closest chosen friends can see and hear you make an ass out of yourself. You cannot walk one block in Korea without passing by a nore bang. Alcohol is illegal is technically off limits in a nore bang, but that doesn't stop owners from selling it at a ridiculously high mark up. Tor walked in cradling eight beers.

Inside, there is a screen with the lyrics along the bottom of a picture that has nothing to do with your song. Usually it is of safari animals, a beach scene, or scenes from a popular Korean drama. There are two microphones, one of which always echos purposefully, and at least two tambourines so you have something to do while waiting for your turn.

Normally, I abhor singing in public and do everything I can to avoid it like a passing Korean avoids eye contact. However, when you are wasted in this country, this is where you inevitably end up. I am not proud of it. A recap, in images:

 Wait for the solo...

M

Most likely an ABBA song. Na na na na na na. Na na na na na S.O.S. Ba ba ba ba ba ba. Ba ba ba ba ba S.O.S.

N

Now I ain't sayin she's a gold digga' (one tambourine just isn't enough)

W

What's worse? Singing Spice Girls or dancing the robot- hand-belly-rub to Spice Girls?

I

It's a beautiful life. Uh oh-oh-oh. I'm gonna be so hungov-er. It's a beautiful life. Uh- oh-oh-oh. 

I was in a flip off mood this night. Here is an evolution:

Phase 1: I am feeling happy. I am only going to give you the half flip off. Not mad. Just a warning. No pictures of me drunk please. My family reads this blog.

P

Phase 2: I told you no pics. 

Phase 3: Forget it, I'm out. Tor, I cannot keep up with you. I need fried cheese and soft serve ice cream in my belly stat.

When our time was up, we left and paid our bill which was about $40 U.S. Doesn't sound like much, but it was still double what dinner was. I'm telling you, the beers are not cheap at the nore bang. Before departing, I thought that it would be a good idea to stop off in one of the other rooms and crash a different singing party. Sami wisely kept me from doing so.

We stopped of a Lotteria on the way back. Lotteria is Korea's answer to Burger King and McDonald's. I thought one or two cheese sticks might help me avoid a hangover so I ordered six. I also ordered a soft serve ice cream cone. The next day I was baffled as to why I didn't order ice cream from Lotteria (after all, that is my favorite item) until Sami reminded me that I did. You see where this is going.

I went to bed that night with all of my clothes on (and even flipped Sami the bird when she suggested I remove my jacket- I was in rare form), woke up at 5:45 a.m. looked at my ghost white reflection in the bathroom mirror, took care of my business and went back to bed thinking that I was going to beat this. No dice.

I rolled out of bed at nine with a terrible soju hangover. Soju hangovers are notoriously bad. Maybe that is why it is so cheap, or vice versa. If you want to know what a soju hangover feels like, just spin around in a circle for an hour as fast as you can...and then go drink a bottle of soju. It is known for giving users a splitting headache and sour stomach. I spent a good hour keeled over on Tor and Becky's bathroom floor the next morning. I would do anything short of smelling a bottle of soju to make it stop.

After a good half dozen heaves, I decided that it would be a good idea to take a "puke walk." I took the cell phone Sami and I share in case I got lost. I turned the corner in the alleyway and against the side of the apartment building next door, shamefully did my thing.

It wasn't long before I was lost. I had found the batting cage, although it was a little different. The arcade games outside weren't in the same order I remembered. Turns out that it was a completely different batting cage. I called and had Tor come find me. While I was waiting I sat down right next to a man who was sawing a table with an electric saw. I couldn't tell the difference.

Somehow, I made a miraculous recovery before noon. I laid down, turned on the T.V., had three Advil, an Immodium, some ice water and a piece of toast. That mixed with a few Korean infomercials (Walking shoes with rounded heels are great exercise! This vibrating electro-band will give your fat ass six-pack abs!) must have done the trick.

The Lotus Lantern Festival the next day was a great experience, and would have been even better if we weren't so beat from the nore bang excitement from the night before. It also would have been even more enjoyable if about half the number of people decided to stay home.

The great part about the festival being so crowded was that it offered the opportunity to people watch, which is great, especially when there is a large number of foreigners (or as I affectionately call them, "whiteys").  The whiteys that come to Korea to teach are typically young, right out of college and "hippy" for lack of a better term. I saw one guy wearing shorts that went down mid-thigh, teva sandals, a severely v-necked t-shirt, sunglasses, a scarf and a fedora. I wondered what he was thinking in the morning (Hmm. I know it is going to be nice out today, but I don't want my neck to get cold...wait, like I have any room to talk. This morning I was thinking: Hmm. Maybe if I plug one nostril and push air out real hard through the other, this tickley chunk of puke will fly out).

Despite the large foreign presence, we still received the requisite number of stares. One eager teenager even asked to take a picture with him.

The Lotus Lantern Festival featured two stages of liver performances and all types of booths with Buddhist information from different countries. The nearby temple was decked out with brilliantly colored lanterns. It was quite a spectacle.

I got to hold this little marmot. I call it a chinchilla. Don't think that is what it is. Sounds like something you would order at Taco Bell.

Sami and I decided to leave before dark, and therefore missed the famous nightime parade. Tor and Becky stayed and got to experience the strength of short, old Korean women pushing to the front of lines firsthand. They cannot be stopped.

When we departed we made plans to go down to Busan for the upcoming three day weekend. We got on the subway happy to be leaving the mob scene of the festival, happy to be sober, and above all, happy to no longer have to say "Tor and Becky will be in Korea soon."