Having a Baby in Korea, Part 2

After 5 weeks without seeing a doctor I ventured to Asan Hospital last Tuesday. It usually takes me 80-90 minutes to get there by bus, subway, and then a 15-minute walk. I arrived at the hospital to learn that my doctor was in surgery and that my appointment was delayed, but I didn’t mind because I was able to chat with another couple who were also expecting. They were the first couple I have met in Korea who are having a baby, but I think it is quite common for expats to want to birth in Korea. The health insurance, technology, and low cost make Korea a great place to give birth, especially if your pregnancy is low risk and you can avoid a hospital birth (and likely c-section)… Also, at least for public school teachers, the guaranteed maternity leave is way better than what most jobs offer in the states. You are guaranteed a 2-month paid leave and you can take a third month unpaid. I will only be taking the month of August off, so I don’t get the second paid month off because my contract ends on August 31^st. However, this is still more paid leave than my teaching job in the US offers.

Unfortunately, the couple informed me that they visited Mediflower Women’s Clinic and really liked it, but due to the high cost they were seeking alternative options. They did have some other suggestions of places to give birth, and so in addition to visiting Mediflower on Saturday, Joe and I are going to make an appointment at an additional birthing clinic located in Bucheon (about 45 minutes from where we live), and look into possibly giving birth at home. The advantage of birthing at Mediflower is that a doctor attends your birth, but he is primarily there to observe, and won’t intervene unless there is an emergency. The other birthing clinic we are going to look into does not have a doctor, so I would give birth with only a midwife. If I want an epidural or have to have a c-section, we have to transfer to a hospital no matter which birthing center we choose, so at this point we are exploring more cost-effective options.

At first I was really skeptical about giving birth at home, but lately it is looking more appealing. It would be nice to give birth and not have to travel with a newborn from the birthing center after the baby is born, especially considering we don’t have a car. Our only options would be to take a taxi or the subway home, and the taxis here usually are not equipped with seat belts. As long as my pregnancy remains low-risk, having the baby at home is an option we are going to strongly consider.

Back to my appointment… All of my appointments are scheduled through the International Clinic at Asan Hospital. An English-speaking volunteer then guides me to the various places I have to go and helps with any necessary translating. When I expressed my interest in finding out the sex of my baby the volunteer informed me that I couldn’t directly ask the ultrasound technician or the doctor what the gender of my baby was. I instead had to ask a less direct question such as, “Does my baby like pink or blue?” Because Koreans used to abort their babies when they found out they were having a girl, legally a pregnant woman is not supposed to be informed of her baby’s gender until after the 7^th month. This is no longer a common practice in Korea, but they still haven’t changed the law. Koreans still want boys, mainly because the sons traditionally take care of their parents as they age, but most Koreans would no longer abort their baby just because it is a girl.

My baby is a little wiggle worm. She is constantly nudging me throughout the day and at night she is even more active. She was moving around throughout the ultrasound appointment, so much that the ultrasound technicians were laughing. One of them looked at me and said, “Your baby moves a lot,” as she struggled to perform all of the necessary tests and measurements. Her little hands were balled into fists, and it was comical to watch her continuous jabs at the ultrasound equipment as they attempted to navigate around her movements. Even though she was moving around constantly, it was very apparent to me (and I am not experienced at reading ultrasounds) at several points that it was probably a little girl. When the appointment was over, I asked the technicians, “Does my baby like pink or blue?” They both started laughing before they told me that my baby liked pink.

I was ecstatic to hear that I was carrying a girl. Joe and I were convinced that it was probably a boy, even though every old wives’ tale pointed towards a girl. I had terrible morning sickness, and I have read that there is scientific evidence that women are more likely to experience severe morning sickness when they are carrying a girl. I have also craved sweets, mainly fruit, since the end of the first trimester. So far, I am carrying this baby high, and I haven’t needed to buy any maternity pants at this point. I am sure that will change within a few weeks! All of those characteristics traditionally point to the likelihood of a girl, but based on how active this baby is and the ultrasound pictures, we both figured it was a boy. Lesson learned- 13 week ultrasound pictures are unlikely to be indicative of your baby’s gender!

I was also convinced that it would be a boy because I consider Joe to be the lucky one in our relationship. Things almost go his way. The night before my ultrasound appointment I had a very vivid dream about the baby, and it was definitely a boy in my dream. I told Joe the next morning that I was almost positive that we were having a boy. He of course gave me a huge smile- he was really hoping for a boy.

I was pretty quiet during the journey home, partly because I was starving, but mostly because I knew that I was going to have to tell Joe he was going to have a daughter when he really wanted a son. Fortunately, there is no doubt in my mind that Joe will be thrilled when he finally meets his daughter!