Charlotte is Born Part Four

Here was the room they moved us to after the birth.

One major item I neglected to mention regarding my daughter Charlie's birth was the thunderstorm. While my wife Sami was in the middle of the most productively intense moments of active labor, a harrowing late afternoon/early evening thunderstorm raged over the city of Seoul in the Republic of Korea. Later we learned that this particular thunderstorm created the worst flooding that the country had seen in over 100 years, causing over 70 fatalities and sending undetonated landmines left hidden in the hills after the Korean war, down from the mountains and into the city. At this particular time however, destruction was far from our minds as lightening illuminated the room in instant bursts through the closed blinds, much like a camera flash. Thunder rumbled soon after each silent strike and seemed to keep time with Sami's grunt accompanying efforts. The lights were turned out inside of the delivery room and the natural light inside mirrored the gray, dusky overcast storm outside. It was the perfect weather and time of day for one of the hundreds of post class/pre-drinking naps I used to take as a  college student nearly a decade ago in famously drizzly Eugene, Oregon, only at this moment I had never felt more awake.

This picture was taken shortly after the birth in the delivery room. That is our doula Stacey there and she is pointing out the torrential downpour happening outside.

When Charlotte, who we have taken to calling "Charlie", was born everything happened as quickly as those lightening flashes, but I was with it enough to snap off digital pictures of her first breathes as quickly as those lightening downstrikes. Many of those pictures will only be seen by Sami and myself. For the longest time, I could only see the top of her head, which had more hair than I had anticipated, but when she came out, it was a blur of activity, relief and outbursts of joy from not only we parents, but also the half dozen or so medical attendants who crowded the small room.

At first glimpse, she reminded me completely of baby pictures I had seen of myself so many times in photo albums from my parents house. Her, hair, eyes and mouth in particular bore a striking resemblance. Later, and upon closer observation, we began to notice physical characteristics which more closely resemble Sami's, the eyes became hers, as did the nose, chin, ears and feet" (Koreans in particular are obsessed with our baby's nose, because they say that it is "high," whatever that means. I guess most Korean babies and in turn most Korean adults have flatter noses, and so they spend millions every year on plastic surgery to change what they consider an aesthetic deficiency). After the baby's face, the next thing that I noticed were her hands. These were not the tiny hands you see on so many little girls' baby dolls, nor the hands you would expect to see on a 4 week premature baby. These were my hands in miniature form with a large palm and long fingers. When they put her into the see-through bassinet, she reached out with one paw and grappled down on the side with a kung-fu monkey grip. All of the nurses gasped at her display of strength, and I suppose it could be documented that this was when I felt the first sensation of pride as a father.

We learned in our hypnobirthing class that skin to skin contact is important, and I didn't want to miss out. Of course, I was scared a Korean nurse would walk in, think I was a weirdo, and take the baby away forever. Korean men aren't typically even present during the birth, so this must be strange for them.

After 15 or 20 minutes of bonding time with mom, they took the baby away to weigh and measure her, and give her the first in a long series of vaccinations. I was able to accompany her to the scale, and tried to take a picture of the measurements. The picture didn't turn out, but we will always remember that she was 2.54 kg and 46cm, or 5 lbs 10 oz and 18.1 inches long. I had to leave when they gave the baby her shots, and went back to de-brief with Sami. She was of course on cloud nine, and we tried to remember every little detail about her and settle on a name.

We had both agreed on Charlotte months ago. Sami liked the sound of the name and I signed off because Charlotte's Web by E.B. White was one of my favorite children's books that my mom read to my brother and me as kids, and is, of course, undoubtedly considered an American classic. However, as time wore on, we began to throw more names onto lists, and as more people began to refer to our unborn child as Charlotte, we stubbornly vowed to keep searching for the perfect fit. Because she was four weeks early, we had not yet decided on a name, and agreed that we would look at her face, and spend some time with her before writing it down on the birth certificate. When I saw her for the first few moments, I thought she was a "Mia," a name we had both discussed, but did not place high on the list. Sami even liked it and it seemed as if it would go that way, until at one point, Sami absentmindedly referred to her as Charlotte and it stuck. When I wrote the name down for the nurse to type on a birth certificate "Charlotte Cassidy Boyd" just looked right (Cassidy is the maiden name of my maternal grandmother- whom Sami and I each share a special bond with. Plus it is Irish which was always important to me).

The next order of business after they brought our daughter back to us was to notify our families back in the states. Before the birth, I was of the opinion that we should call our parents right away, while Sami thought it okay to sit on it awhile and enjoy the company of our child alone. Afterwards, the roles were reversed, with Sami coming up with the idea to call, and me not caring, just mesmerized by our perfect child and dog tired after 41 long hours at the hospital. The first person we called was Sami's sister Rikki, who lives at her grandma Sharon's house. We called them first because Sami didn't think that she knew her mom's phone number, as she had moved, but it turned out to be the same so we called her next. Both were understandably confused because it occurred a month ahead of schedule, but they eventually believed us and were overjoyed. Next we called Sami's stepmother and then her dad who was working in Montana. Everyone on my side of the family that I tried to call didn't answer, which was understandable, as it was 5 in the morning over there. We finally were able to reach my parents right before we went to bed, and we even skyped with them and Sami's mom the next day, which is probably not how the grandparents envisioned their first views of their first grandchild, but pretty cool nonetheless.

That night were were moved from the second floor up to the sixth, to a nice room with an amazing view of the city. Charlotte slept most of the night and her parents caught their most substantial amount of shut-eye since the weekend. The next morning, we shared the hospital breakfast that I had ordered the day before-miyakgook, which is the traditional seaweed soup that Korean mothers eat exclusively the month after birth. I made Sami take a few bites because it is supposed to have a lot of iron, but it isn't her favorite. We watched most of "Pretty Woman" with Julia Roberts on tv and were surprised when we found out that we could leave that same day. When we finally checked-out we were informed that many of the roads were closed due to flooding and that taxi cabs were going to be expensive. The woman at the international clinic helped us by writing a note for a taxi driver with our address, although we have never had trouble communicating that information before. She was also quite concerned with us getting the baby wet in the falling rain outside, so she had us walk over the skybridge. When we tried to get a taxi, a Pentecostal minister overheard us and offered us a ride home in his van. He was carrying a bible and I couldn't help but think about what he was doing at the hospital. I said sure because I was in such a good mood, and because in Korea you just trust people. He turned out to be a great guy. Along the way he chatted about his experience going to school in the states and how his youngest daughter was actually born in Chicago which means she is a dual citizen. When we were dropped off I almost asked if he would say a prayer for our daughter, which is so unlike me, but he got us to our door so fast that I didn't have time.

And after that we were home, where our baby has spent all of her life save for a few doctor's visits, a trip to the US embassy and Costco. We have learned that she loves movement- she always sleeps in the subway or when I carry her in the Moby wrap. She hardly every cries except when she is hungry and even then it is only one little squak and then she stops. She eats about ten times a day and poops twelve. She prefers to sleep on her right side, so we always try to move her to her left. We only have another month in Korea, and although she isn't going to remember any of it, but Sami and I will never forget this time.