10 Ways I De-Fattened

Update! 196lbs to 163lbs

I am posting this fully aware of the ridicule that lies in store from my family (wife especially) and the Collier boys. If any of my fraternity brothers stumble across it, I imagine they to be understanding. Most of them are as body-conscious as I.

The top is me at a wet and doughy 196 lbs. This pic was snapped in 2007 on the big island of Hawaii, but as recently as June of last year, I weighed the same. The bottom image is me looking shiny-gay-noir at around 172 lbs last month (note: now 163 lbs). This morning I tipped the scales at 166 lbs (but you know, hadn't eaten, just finished working out. Don't worry mom).

As a fan of "The Biggest Loser," I understand that 30 lbs is not much, and of course 200lbs is the weight that many of the contestants on that show aspire to reach, so I have no room to boast. Still, for a long time I have been less than happy with my rotundness. I figure, what they hey, let's document a few things that factor into how I dropped my 30 pounds so that when I fatten up again, I can go back and figure out how to lose it.

As best as I can figure it, here are t top 10:

1. Moved to Korea. It is amazing how when you don't speak the language, you tend to avoid going out to eat (update: we've actually been progressing pretty well with our Korean through a killer site called livemocha.com). Also, Korean food does seem to be relatively healthier than the fare we had grown accustomed to- more vegetables and fruits and not as much meat. I apologize, but whoever said white rice is bad for you is full of excrement. I love my rice cooker, and of course, always remember to wash the rice first to get rid of the starchiness (Connie, if you ever read this, thanks for the tip!). Our biggest meal of the day is usually lunch, which is provided by our schools. They have metal trays with pockets for each food item (just like prison!). This undoubtedly helps with portion control, which is probably the best thing for me. I absolutely refuse to limit what I eat or deny myself a craving. I like food too much. In fact, if it is made out of food, I will eat it.

2. Got married. I told myself I would get down to 180lbs for our wedding in July. I kept putting it off until the day after I saw our engagement pictures. I was not happy. Years from now our future children will look at our engagement pictures, wedding pictures and Korea pics and wonder why daddy was shrinking. Apologies to the mini-mes nestled in my epididymis. It's just that daddy is vain, but also likes to procrastinate.

3. Ate breakfast every day. Sami taught me this one. Sure, it is only a bowl of cornflakes, but I never forget. All I know is that I used to skip it and I was fat.

4. Didn't snack after dinner. Well, most of the time. We have a little convenience store that serves the people in the apartment complex and we often times swing by for a treat. I am quite fond of these little drumstick ice-cream cones. They also have another kind of ice cream which is a cup of vanilla with strawberry syrup on top, and then you eat that all the way down to the cup and from the top of the cup to the bottom is sherbet. Brilliant! The main difference is that I only eat that small serving of ice-cream now whereas before it was a bigass bowl of Tillamook mudslide with extra chocolate syrup on top (I miss you grandma Kate!). Mostly though, I really don't eat after dinner.

5. Stopped being obsessed with getting big. When I was in high school I hated being skinny. I ate terribly. I lifted weights (my dad was always a big weightlifter, and I took to the hobby as well). I tried weight gaining supplements. Nothing worked. I was just too active to get over the 160 lb. hump. During college, many of my friends at SigEp were weightlifting enthusiasts, so I continued as well. I even bought "Pumping Iron" with Arnold, which is awesome. Sadly, I thought that in order for me to look big, I had to be at least 200 lbs. Since the move to Korea, I have stopped taking whey protein, creatine, nitric oxide, leukic hardcore etc. Sure, I have probably lost muscle and cannot max as much, but I feel better. I also don't spend all day at the gym like I used to. I go hard for 45 minutes to an hour, shower and bounce.

6. Started squatting! Despite being plump up top, I have always had (and probably always will without calf implants) skinny legs. I hated doing squats, mainly because I couldn't lift as much as others in the gym and was embarrassed. Now, I am in an entirely different country! I can be a new person! Who cares how much I squat! What are you looking at Korean dude?! I see you spending a half our on the belt-massage thingy. You ain't gonna squat much either! Seriously though, I have heard that squats aid in weight loss and trigger muscle-growth. I just know that I used to skip them, and I was fat.

7. Ran more. Actually this is a lie. I don't think that I am running any more than I used to, which has never been much. During the summer I enjoy running outside, but I usually stick to the treadmill once or twice a week for a half hour each time. I don't know if all treadmills are created equal, but I like to run on level 12 for a lap and then level 16 for a lap. I keep doing eggshells like that until I am too tired and then run on 12 until I get to the 30 minutes. I am kind of a wuss and don't do the incline. In fact I tried it a few weeks ago and felt like my lungs were half filled with melted milkshake.

8. Went straight to the gym after work. I found a nice gym (despite the locker room- see previous post) that is very close to my school. I make sure to walk straight there after work and not look back. It is true that actually going to the gym is half the battle. Even though our apartment is just as close to the gym, if I swing by home first I will be stuck shouting out answers to Jeopardy! and the Wheel (yes, we get both of those shows).

9. Stopped eating fast food. It's not that you can't find it here. In fact McDonald's is very close. It is just that we are living on such a shoestring budget- attempting to pay off debt while still taking advantage of the opportunity to travel, that 10 bucks (or the equivalent in wan) is hard to justify. This works pretty well because I am sure that no matter how much oil and sodium I put into a meal at home, it is less than at Mickey D's. I used to crave a crunch wrap from Taco Bell, or onion rings from Burger King, or a Big Mac from you-know-where, or 2 tacos from Jack-in-the-Krizzle, or a Ranch Hand with extra fry sauce and a chocolate shake from Burger West (that's Ontario speak for all you neophytes), or nuggets with BBQ sauce from Wendy's, or a crisp meat burrito with thousand for dipping from Taco Time, or a McChicken with extra mayo from you-know-where, or a BBQ beef sandwich and Heath Blizzard from Dairy Queen, or a Tillamook Bacon Cheeseburger and marionberry shake from Burgerville, or a chocolate hazelnut shake from Burgerville, or a pumpkin shake from Burgerville, or two little cheeseburgers with mouseshit onions, pickles and warm ketchup from you-know-where, or a two-entree from Panda Express, or a Big Montana and mozzarella sticks from Arby's, but you know what? Now I think that I would rather eat Korean food. I was so excited at the airport as we waited for our flight to Fiji to eat at Burger King. I had a Whopper with bacon and onion rings. It was delish, of course, but I just felt dirty afterward. Two months later while we waited for our flight to Cambodia, we had Korean. I ordered the soft tofu stew and it was wonderful.

10. Most importantly, became less stressed and happier. Sure there are many other little things that probably helped me drop a few- not having a car and walking everywhere comes to mind- but I think that more than anything I am in a good place with my best friend. Although, I still wouldn't mind a you-know-what from you-know-where.