Having a Baby in Korea, Part 1

We found out I was pregnant a few days before Christmas. The weekend before Christmas we had some friends over, Joe cooked dinner, and we headed to the noraebang (Korean karaoke room) to sing some Christmas carols. It was a fabulous night, and everyone was drinking except for me. You can imagine my surprise when I woke up the next morning with what felt like a very severe hangover. I remember feeling slightly irritated that my husband, who was feeling no pain the night before, seemed to be fine the next morning. I, on the other hand, could barely get out of bed and felt repulsed by all of the foods that had tasted so wonderful only the night before. A few days later my pregnancy suspicions were confirmed by the bright red line on my Korean pregnancy test. Luckily I speak enough Korean that I was able to confirm that the line did in fact mean I was pregnant!

Shortly afterwards I made an appointment at Asan Hospital in Seoul. A friend of mine had surgery there and had a positive experience. She had informed me about their international clinic, where volunteers who spoke English helped foreigners navigate the Korean hospital system. Knowing nothing about having a baby, let alone having a baby in Korea, just having someone who spoke English soothed a great deal of my anxiety. Making the appointment was simple. At the appointment I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant (not as far along as I thought I was) and was able to see the baby on the ultrasound. Joe came to the appointment with me, but unfortunately he wasn't allowed in when I had the ultrasound or when I met with the doctor. The fathers are almost completely left out of the birthing process in Korea at most of the major hospitals, a fact that didn't really sit well with either of us. When I met with the doctor I was thrilled to find out he spoke English quite well. I didn't even need the international clinic volunteer to stay with me. My main concern at the time was getting a prescription for something that would help with my morning sickness. We were leaving in three weeks for a 24 day trip to SE Asia, and I had been very ill for over 2 weeks at that point. I was rapidly losing weight and barely keeping fluids down, so the doctor prescribed me Vitamin B and an anti-nausea drug that is commonly taken here. While it didn't cure the morning sickness, it definitely made it bearable.

I didn't have another appointment until 7 weeks later because of our trip. When we returned I ventured to Asan Hospital on my own (no point in Joe going since he couldn't participate in anything). I was very anxious about the appointment, especially considering that the only pregnancy symptom I had was morning sickness. I couldn't feel the baby yet, and until I could feel my baby moving, I worried every day that I was going to lose it. My fears were immediately placated when I saw my little one on the monitor. I can honestly say that no moment to date, other than my wedding day, comes close to equaling the joy and amazement I felt when I saw my baby kicking and punching at the ultrasound equipment. Feisty little thing- no surprise there! It is amazing how much they look like a baby at 13 weeks, especially when you consider that the first 4 weeks of pregnancy they aren't even implanted in your uterus. I met with the doctor and was relieved to have him inform me that my baby appeared to be completely normal and that he considered my pregnancy very low risk. He then talked with me about the series of tests he wanted to run at my next appointment- screening for genetic abnormalities. While he was a little hesitant to have me take the tests because I am not Korean, he advised me to take the tests to rule out certain potential disorders. Completely naive, I agreed and made the next appointment, learning later that these tests are rarely performed in the United States without reason.

After we came home from Bali, Joe and I began to seriously discuss what type of birth I should have. Our situation is rather complicated. Baby Boyd is due to arrive around August 23rd. Our employment contracts in Korea expire August 31st, meaning we will no longer have our apartment or health insurance after that date. In addition, we have to leave within 10 days of our contract expiring in order for our schools to pay for our airfare home. Our original plan was to have a planned c-section at 39 weeks (August 16th) so that I would have enough time to recover to travel home on September 10th. In Korea, almost 50% of women end up having a c-section. Women are strapped down during the birth, and if their labor isn't progressing fast enough, they will be forced to have a c-section. You can imagine the complications this could cause if I were to have an unplanned c-section on August 31st. With nowhere to live and no health insurance, it wouldn't be a very positive situation to bring our little one into. So, we figured let's be proactive and just schedule a c-section, hoping to avoid complicating our situation further.

Around this time, I started researching c-sections, particularly how to prepare for them and recover from them. It didn't take me very long to realize that I REALLY didn't want to have a c-section. I decided I needed to talk with my doctor about everything at my next appointment and see what he thought. When I met with him, his solution was simply to have me try to have a natural childbirth. He advised induction around the 28th of August if the baby still hadn't come. I left the appointment determined to do everything possible to prepare for a successful natural childbirth.

In addition to my newly found determination deliver this baby naturally, I started to realize that perhaps the traditional Korean hospital route was not going to be the right fit for me. As an American, used to making my own individual decisions, it can be really frustrating to live in a country that has standard procedures and rituals that are followed by almost everyone without question. For example, after a woman gives birth in Korea they believe that she should only eat seaweed soup for a month. They also believe it is important for the woman to be hot, meaning lots of blankets and no air conditioning, even in the summer. I happen to hate seaweed soup. I know it is healthy, is rich in iron, and is probably a good food to eat after having a baby, but the stuff makes me gag. When I informed my co-teacher (who is also pregnant) that I didn't think I would be able to eat seaweed soup after the birth she looked at me like I was crazy and told me that the hospital would not allow me to eat anything else. As silly as it may seem, the possibility of being forced to eat seaweed soup was what inspired me to start researching options other than birthing at a hospital. Because they force you to stay at the hospital after the birth for 2-3 more nights, I could not imagine sweating profusely in my hospital bed being forced to eat seaweed soup. It just wasn't how I wanted to start my experience as a mother.

Fortunately I came across Birthing in Korea run by Lisa Fincaryk. She runs childbirth classes in Seoul and works as a doula. A doula is someone who offers non-medical support during pregnancy and childbirth, and statistics show that they reduce c-section rates, shorten labor, reduce the need for interventions and medication, and increase the mother's overall satisfaction with the birth experience. We met with Lisa a few Saturdays ago and were thrilled to find out that we did in fact have options other than having our baby at a hospital in Seoul, and if we did decide to have our baby in a hospital, some hospitals are more flexible than others. Since our meeting we have signed up for birthing classes that are focused on the Hypnobirthing method (more on that later), hired Lisa as our doula, and set up an appointment at Mediflower Women's Clinic and Natural Birthing Center. I am really exited about visiting Mediflower. Not only are the costs comparable to a Korean hospital, but they emphasize birthing your baby as comfortably as possible, allowing the mother to move around, even birth in  the tub if that is what she wants. After the birth, the baby is immediately given to the mother, whereas in Korean hospitals you barely see the baby until you take it home. The rooms are free of medical equipment and look like a wonderful place to give birth. They don't force you to stay there if you don't need to be there, unlike Korean hospitals where you are forced to stay for the mandatory 2-3 nights. I was also informed that since the clinic opened, they have only had to transfer 3 women to nearby hospitals for a c-section. And yes, I would have the option of having an epidural, but I am very focused on avoiding medication during the birth.

I have one remaining appointment at Asan on Tuesday to have an ultrasound (hopefully we will be able to tell if we are having a boy or a girl), and at that point I am going to ask them for all of my files so I can pass the information on to whatever hospital or birthing center we decide on. Even though we don't yet know where we are having the baby, I feel a lot more confident and happy about having the baby in Korea.