My mother has told me a million different horror stories about her various experiences with childbirth. Her labor took forever with me due to the large size of my head. The umbilical cord was wrapped around my sister’s neck. She lost so much blood birthing my sister that she had to have a blood transfusion. She tore horribly with my youngest brother. The only one of my siblings that I can’t recall any horror stories about is my brother Nycholas (baby #3). These stories have definitely helped shape my perception of childbirth: painful, horrific, and potentially life threatening. For a long time I swore I would never have children because I was so scared of going through childbirth, and then I told everyone that I would only reproduce if I could have a c-section. When I first found out I was pregnant my initial plan was an early c-section in a Korean hospital. This was partially due to our tight schedule, but heavily influenced by my negative emotions regarding childbirth.
Fortunately, my opinions have changed drastically in the last month. Once I began reading and researching about c-sections, I was extremely uncomfortable with the increased risk to the baby and mother. I also read that it is unwise to schedule any type of induction prior to 39 weeks. The baby will come when he/she is ready. Forcing them out early because it is more convenient can have devastating consequences. My next course of action was to find out everything I could about having a baby in Korea. Fortunately, there was a wealth of information online- whole websites devoted to birthing in Korea, blogs documenting the experiences of Korean expats, and Korean hospital/birthing center websites that were in English. That is how I came across the term doula. A doula assists a woman during childbirth and is focused primarily on helping keep the mother and father comfortable. They are experienced in comfort measures- different labor positions, massage techniques, etc., to help keep the mother calm and focused.
The more I read about doulas, the more comfortable I felt with having a natural childbirth. Surprisingly, there are several doulas in Korea, but the only one that got back to us was Lisa (Birthing in Korea). We spent over an hour chatting with her at a local coffee shop, and by the time the meeting was over we felt 100% more informed about our childbirth choices in Korea. We decided that night to hire her as our doula and to take her Hypnobirthing class in April/May. Lisa has attended over 60 births in Korea, and it was reassuring to hear her say that she has never heard a woman scream or swear in childbirth. Hopefully I won’t be the first…
I met with Lisa again about 2 weeks ago. We talked briefly about our progress in choosing a location to have our baby and she gave me a copy of Hypnobirthing: The Mongan Method, the text that accompanies the birthing class we signed up for. She asked that I read the entire text before the start of the classes. At first I was worried that I wouldn’t have time to complete the reading, but I ended up finishing the book in less than a week. The greatest difficulty has been trying to motivate Joe to read the first 70 pages so he is prepared for our first class. Thank goodness the NBA playoffs end well before the birth of our child or he would probably be trying to watch a game while I am in labor!
The book begins with an obvious question, but one that is typically ignored: Why is it that childbirth is such a production in the west? In less developed parts of the world, women work throughout early labor and birth their babies at home, often with very little assistance. Sure, some labors are complicated, but frequently that is not the case. More and more, women with low-risk, uncomplicated pregnancies are encouraged to embrace drugs and interventions that are often unnecessary and very expensive.
The concept of Hypnobirthing argues that women are often completely unprepared for the actual birthing experience. They have heard how painful childbirth is from their friends and family members, and they begin the experience in a state of fear. When Joe and I first arrived in Korea, I experienced firsthand how powerfully the body reacts when it is afraid. Joe and I were pulled behind a boat on what is called a Flying Fish. The windy conditions and our unbalanced body weight caused the Flying Fish to bounce high into the air- much higher on my side because of my smaller size. While Joe was smiling, laughing, and having a great time, I was completely freaked out that one of us was going to be seriously injured. My body was completely tensed up, and shortly after the ride began I noticed a searing pain in my left shoulder/arm. I let go as soon as the fish touched the water again, fearing that I had broken my arm. I ended up with a muscle injury in my shoulder that didn’t go away for over a year.
When a person is afraid, and fear is a natural reaction to pain, their muscles involuntarily clench up. When your muscles are tight, your chances of increased pain and injury are much higher than when you are relaxed. Because your uterus is also a muscle, when a woman is afraid during childbirth it tightens up instead of remaining in a functional state. Fear then releases adrenaline and other hormones into the body, having the undesirable effect of directing blood to parts of the body other than the uterus. Hypnobirthing argues that much of the pain that comes with childbirth is a result of fear and can be eliminated if we remain calm and focused. It also encourages women to let their bodies do the work by working with your uterus and maximizing each contraction through relaxed breathing.
I am sure many of you think that this sounds like a load of crap, but after reading the book, I feel a lot more confident about having my baby naturally. I hope to bring my baby into the world as calmly and comfortably as possible, and I plan on doing everything I can to make sure that this happens. Of course, there are no guarantees that I will not experience complications and pain, but I believe that preparation is the key to minimizing the need for medication and interventions.
I am currently doing everything I can to prepare my body for a smooth natural birth. At least 5 days a week, I walk 2-3 miles to and from school. I have also started stretching for 30+ minutes in the morning, sticking to stretches recommended for pregnant women (squats, yoga poses, etc.,) Before I started stretching every day, I was beginning to have problems with heartburn, but the heartburn has now completely disappeared and the only thing I can attribute that to is my daily stretching routine.
I see the birth of my child as an event that requires preparation at a level similar to searching for my first job and planning my wedding. It is definitely not something I feel comfortable winging. Hopefully my efforts pay off, but no matter what, the end result is worth it!
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