Our final birthing class was my favorite of the four classes. We started with a discussion of the signs of labor, but with Hypnobirthing, we speak in euphemisms to keep things positive. A mucous plug sounds pretty nasty, so we instead call it a uterine seal. Bloody show is instead referred to as “birth show,” contractions are called “surges,” and our water doesn’t break, our “membranes release.” Actually, I got all of the answers wrong because I forgot to use the euphemisms, and somehow I don’t think I am going to care what contractions should be called when I am experiencing them! Lisa informed us that another sure sign of labor is that the mother poops a lot in the days leading up to labor (body’s way of clearing everything out and making room)- no euphemism for pooping, but Joe suggested the usuals: taking a dump, dropping the kids off at the pool, or good old “shitting.” We also talked about nesting. I was happy to find out that true nesting doesn’t usually happen until a few weeks before the baby comes. I can barely find any motivation to clean at all. You know things are bad when Joe’s closet is more organized than mine.
After we finished talking about the days prior to labor, we completed a hypnosis activity geared towards releasing our fears surrounding birth. Most of our concerns are financial/logistical, and they all revolve around something that is completely out of our control: when the baby decides to come. So, for the first time in my life I have decided not to worry… at least for now. By putting this in writing, if I start to worry closer to baby’s due date, please remind me of what I just wrote.
Next we practiced exercises and positions that we can use during contractions and pushing. I have the option to birth in any position I want. When I tell my Korean co-workers that I probably won’t be lying down, strapped to a bed, they usually make comments about how westerners are more concerned with pain than the safety of their baby. One thing you learn quickly about Koreans is that it is pointless to argue with them. Most Koreans do exactly what is expected of them and they rarely behave (or think) outside of their cultural norms. I do a lot of smiling and nodding.
We finished the class with a birthing video that was about as close to porn as you can get. The women were enjoying their births so much that it was disturbing, and the music definitely added to the porn vibe. Note- this was not why I enjoyed the last class so much!
The week after our final Hypnobirthing class, we attended a class focused on what to do after the baby is born. Of the four original couples, one was missing because their baby boy arrived 3 weeks early! 2 new couples joined us for the class, both ready to pop at any moment. 1 couple was from the states and the other couple was from Thailand. This class was primarily focused on breastfeeding, and I am really happy that Joe was present. He was shocked to find out that breastfeeding is practically a full time job when the baby is a newborn. However, when he found out that men too can breastfeed, he didn’t volunteer to share in the burden! One of the men present actually knew someone in high school that was able to shoot milk from his nipples. I guess he wasn’t very popular.
In addition to breastfeeding we practiced swaddling, calming the baby, and burping the baby. Joe got pretty into it, as you can see from the pictures.
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